My issue with using the phrase 'Trauma Dumping'

I hate the phrase ‘trauma dumping’. I hate all of its negative connotations. I hate how people use it: to invalidate other people’s struggles and experiences, to make them feel socially isolated. The fear of someone invalidating your emotions and struggles is a huge reason to why mental health problems are so significant within our…

I hate the phrase ‘trauma dumping’. I hate all of its negative connotations. I hate how people use it: to invalidate other people’s struggles and experiences, to make them feel socially isolated. The fear of someone invalidating your emotions and struggles is a huge reason to why mental health problems are so significant within our society, as it prevents people from talking about any of their struggles. Then, people experience an overwhelming build-up of stress and mentally draining feelings, as they’ve just kept these feelings all bottled up inside, which in many cases, inhibits their ability to function in their daily life; further accumulating negative feelings of self-doubt and frustration.

When people ‘trauma dump’, it’s probably because they’re really hurting about the actual issues they are mentioning, or, in some cases, they’re looking for attention. But the thing is, even if they’re looking for attention, their dire need for ‘attention’ despite knowing that people may negatively frame them as a ‘trauma dumper’, is probably due to something else that is significantly impacting their wellbeing. Ultimately, these people are just looking for a way to release their emotions, to release all of those bottled-up and mentally draining thoughts.

I understand that they could potentially look at other avenues to alleviate their stress, but honestly, it can sometimes be quite challenging to find an avenue that is effective in relieving your stress. For instance, the only socially conventional method (eg meditation, exercise) of relieving stress that works for me is writing all of my thoughts down, which is partially why I started this blog :))). When people trauma dump, it may be the only avenue at reach for them to get something off their chest and to release their overwhelming emotions that have been accumulating for some time.

For people who are experiencing another person ‘trauma dumping’ on them, these people only frame ‘trauma dumpers’ in a negative light because they feel awkward and don’t know how to respond to this situation; mainly because they are unfamiliar with this context of people being so vulnerable, especially when you don’t have a strong relationship with the ‘trauma dumper’. That leads to another issue; society casting important mental health conversations as taboo in many contexts, which drives unfamiliarity and discomfort for these people when someone is vulnerable around them.

But, it genuinely makes me so angry when people get mad at others for ‘trauma dumping’, because the only reason they hate it is because they feel socially awkward and don’t know how to respond. How ridiculously selfish. Someone is genuinely at an extremely vulnerable point in their life where their emotions are drastically overwhelming them, and all you can think about, and focus on, is the fact that you don’t know how to reply to them in a conversation that will probably only last 10 minutes. Here’s another suggestion for those people; maybe try to understand their point of view before harshly judging them, maybe listen to what they have to say, rather than focussing on the fact that you feel a bit socially awkward.

I guess to broaden the argument a bit and look at other points of view, the term ‘trauma dumper’ can also sometimes be used in situations where someone is trying to manipulate another person, where the ‘trauma dumper’ may not have the need for actually releasing mentally-draining emotions off their chest (for instance, an ex-boyfriend ‘trauma dumping’ to be manipulative). But, when someone ‘trauma dumps’, you generally shouldn’t make that assumption of them potentially being manipulative, because they really could be at a tipping point in their life, where your willingness to listen to them, and to understand them, could really help to turn their life around. Of course, this is ultimately context-based. For example, if there’s a specific context where your boyfriend has cheated on you in multiple instances, and he has consistently lied throughout your relationship, then if he ‘trauma dumps’ on you, it’s more likely to be a manipulative tactic. But generally, you shouldn’t jump straight to the assumption that a person being vulnerable is a manipulation tactic, as again, 9 times out of 10, they are probably just really struggling, and need someone to just hear them out and to validate their emotions.

Anyway, this is the end of my rant to why I hate the way ‘trauma dump’ is normally used in social settings ;))))

Seeya soon,

Anonymous Blogger